


It's a strange way of saying I'm supposed to love you

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, One Shot, i know the title is long but pete is in it so the lengthy title makes sense leave me alone, so thank you to the person who asked this :), this was a request from tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-10 16:56:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7853401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the post break up au prompt, "I found the ring when I was moving my stuff out of your apartment and now everything makes sense"</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a strange way of saying I'm supposed to love you

Mikey had it decided for a while now that he was going to leave Pete.

Their two year long relationship had ignited with a blazing inferno, they had been so young, dumb and in love. Every second outside of their music careers were spent together, always in fits of passion. There was never a moment where they hadn't been touching, kissing, fucking. Pete made Mikey feel, made him break his stoic exterior, forced him to love someone else. 

Eventually it slowed down, and became something more. Something that was more than just a fiery teen fling. Mikey could feel the love in every kiss, every gentle caress. Then one night, on the anniversary of their one year spent together, one night it was love they made. Maybe that had been when Mikey realized it. That he loved Pete, and Pete loved him back.

Mikey hated how cliche it sounded, but their love was a mountain, strong and unchanging. Every thought was _Petepetepete,_ but not because he was young and obsessed. No. Mikey's every thought was  _Petepetepete,_ because he couldn't think of anything else that mattered. 

Then it all stopped. Pete came home late every night. He acted nervous around Mikey, like he was just waiting for the eventual storm that would face them both. Mikey hated it. All he wanted was for Pete to love him like he used to. He wanted him to talk about his life, and know all of Pete's secrets. Mikey wanted and wanted and wanted, but nothing ever came of it. 

He couldn't bring himself to even think that Pete might have fallen out of love with him. Because this was Pete. The man who gave everything to Mikey. The man who let Mikey in, told him things he'd never said out loud, told him his fears, his dreams, his passions. That's what they did, they talked. They talked about everything there was to talk about. They listened to each other's opinions because they genuinely were interested. 

Mikey let this happen for a month. He let Pete fall out of love with him. He let Pete come and go, and avoid him. For a whole month he stood by and watched the love of his life become almost a stranger. 

Maybe he was giving Pete a chance, hoping that by some small miracle this wasn't real. But it was real, and Pete's month was over. 

***

"I've been waiting for you," Mikey whispers from his sitting position on the bed. The room is completely dark save for the small sliver of light coming from the cracked door Pete had just entered through. 

The older man blinks in surprise at Mikey's words, or maybe the fact that he was still awake at 1am. "You know you didn't have to Mikeyway, I'm always here to wake you up".

"Don't call me that Pete," Mikey snaps in the direction of Pete, now that he can't see him in the darkness because Pete shut the door. 

"Call you Mikeyway? That's your name. That's what I've always called you," Pete replies softly and almost in a questioning tone. Mikey feels the mattress dip and Pete's distinct scent washes over him, not that the bed doesn't smell like Pete, but this was fresh Pete. He surprisingly always smelled clean, like his clothes had just been washed and hung out to dry, almost an outdoor scent. It had quickly became one of Mikey's favorite things. 

"That's why I don't want you to call me that anymore. Nicknames are reserved for people who love their boyfriends. Not for people who slip inside their apartment at 1am and leave before their boyfriend wakes up," comes Mikey's irritated reply. 

Pete sits up in the bed, Mikey feels it. "Okay, what is your problem Mikey? I told you I've been busy at work, and I've been planning other things," Pete begins angrily but trails off nervously towards the end of his rebuttal. 

"My problem? Pete, you want to know my problem?" Mikey begins, "My problem is you. I don't know what's been going on lately but all you've been is distant. We've barely spoken to each other for about a month. All you do is work work work, and your bullshit 'planning other things'. I'm fucking tired of being ignored Pete. I'm your boyfriend Pete, not just something here for you when you have the time".

Pete, for once -well Mikey shouldn't say for once, because he hasn't heard much of Pete's voice lately- is speechless. Mikey can't see his face but he imagines it looks a little shocked or unhappy.  

"Then go," Pete voices quietly, as if he can't bear to hear himself say it. 

"What?" Mikey can hardly hear himself say it. 

Pete lets out a small coughing sound, as if he was clearing out his throat. "I said leave then. If I'm making you so unhappy, leave. Cause all I ever want is to make you happy Mikeyway, and if I'm not doing that, I won't force you to stay here with me." Without another word Mikey feels him roll over, facing away from him. 

"I'll leave in the morning. I guess I'll stay with Gee until the weekend, that's when I'll pick up my stuff then," Mikey whispers into the darkness. He feels his heart break with the words and almost can't believe he just spoke them aloud. 

The silence drowns out every thought Mikey has. It's loud and deafening silence, the kind that clogs up every part of your brain, your body. He feels his body lie down in the bed, rolling away from his now former boyfriend. His eyes close, but there's no difference in the darkness behind his eyelids and the room. 

It feels as if an hour has passed by, yet Mikey still hasn't drifted off. He opens his mouth, about to speak before thinking but he hears Pete breathe in, also about to speak. Mikey holds his breath, waiting, hoping Pete will take it back, to beg Mikey to stay. Instead he remains silent. Only then does Mikey fall asleep. 

***

The next morning Pete stays in bed. He doesn't so much as move while Mikey moves around their bedroom, grabbing only the necessary things to bring to his brother's house. He felt numb the entire time, it wasn't happening. He wasn't about to leave his love, that didn't happen to them. Couldn't. 

But it was. It only hits Mikey when Gerard arrives to help with anything, mostly for moral support. Pete is standing in the doorway of their bedroom, watching as Gerard takes Mikey's clothes and personal items to the car.

Gerard excuses himself to the car, stating he'll wait outside for his brother.

Mikey turns to face Pete, who has one of the most goddamn depressing looks on his face. The younger man tries to ignore the twinge in his gut. He' the one responsible for the look on Pete's face. It wouldn't be there in the first place if Pete could've given him an answer last night, rather than defaulting to the easy option of telling Mikey to go.

Pete doesn't move as Mikey rushes over to him, trying in one last desperate attempt to see if this is all really happening. Mikey grabs Pete's face with both hands, pushing him up against the door frame, and kisses him. It's not a slow, romantic kiss, like the ones they had so recently began to grow accustomed to. No. It was a rough, dirty kiss, full of desperation and feverish lust. It's also over all too soon. Mikey could sense Pete's willingness, but he just needed to hear it out loud. _'Stay Mikey. Please stay'._ But the words don't pass Pete's lips. The only thing that does is a half whispered, "I love you," before Pete gently pushes Mikey back. 

When Mikey looks down into Pete's golden brown eyes he feels cold all over. His heart has just been torn from his chest, thrown on the floor, and stomped on by the man standing in front of him.

"I'll see you Saturday morning when I get my things, it would be easier for the both of us if you weren't there," with nothing left to say, Mikey turns around and walks out without so much as a sideways glance at his once-home.

Gerard doesn't say a thing as his little brother steps inside the car. The side of Mikey's head rests gently against the window. His eyes are closed, his face contorted into a mix of anger, desperation, and ultimately the pain of losing the love of his life.

*** 

Pete called Mikey once, on a Wednesday night. His words slurred slightly, hinting at maybe one two many drinks. He had hardly spoke enough for Mikey to pick up on it. Pete had mostly just breathed heavily. Rather than hanging up like he should have, Mikey listened quietly, breathing into the phone just the same. Pete said, "I love you Mikeyway". Mikey hung up. 

That had been three days ago. It was Saturday morning and Gerard was driving Mikey back to his old apartment to pick up his things. He remembers telling Pete not to be there, that it would make this whole situation much easier. He's thankful when he doesn't see Pete's car in front of the apartment complex. 

Mikey still has the keys to all the doors, so they get in and quickly make work of putting his things into boxes. There's a few things left when Mikey hears the front door open. Inwardly he groans, but a rush of hurt follows. 

He hears Pete ask Gerard if he can "give him and Mikey a few moments". Apparently Gerard complies because Mikey hears the door open and shut again.  _Fucking thanks Gee._

Mikey busies himself with grabbing his clothes from the dresser, the ones he didn't have time to grab when he left earlier that week. He hears Pete rummaging around in the kitchen, so he figures he has some time before he has to deal with his former love. 

His shirts are in a state of chaos, thrown in the drawer, probably unclean and smelly. Some shirts weren't his, but he never really called them his. They were Pete and his clothes, they began sharing clothes in the beginning of their relationship, and over the course of time the owner of the shirt didn't matter. Nonetheless, they were never neat or folded. 

Mikey grabbed a few shirts at once, aiming to throw the in the suitcase he had lying on the floor, when something hard fell from the clothes in his hand and onto the floor. The clothes somehow make it into the suitcase and Mikey bends down to pick up what fell. A ring box. Black, velvet, and either the ruiner or the maker of dreams. 

"Peter. Lewis. Kingston. Wentz. The third. Come in here right fucking now," Mikey demands, nearly crushing the box in his grip as he crosses his arms in disdain. 

Pete walks in, a melancholy look on his face, "Listen, I know-," he doesn't finish his words once he gets a good look at Mikey. "Oh," he whispers.

"Oh, is right Pete. When in the hell were you planning on using this?" The lankier man shoots back. He feels a pang in his gut, and tries to force back the moisture building behind his eyes.

"I- I don't know. Dammit Mikey, I had been so fucking nervous to ask. I love you more than anyone, anything. There is no person or thing that means more to me in this world than you do, and I was so afraid I would scare you off. Asking someone to be yours forever is a big deal Mikeyway. There was nothing else I had wanted to do, and I was so sure you would say yes, but that seed of doubt, that little fucking voice in the back of my head kept telling me to wait. To put it off. Because there was always the sliver of doubt that you might not love me in the same way. And I know that's such a goddamn lame excuse. And I know now, that I made the mistake of not growing a pair and asking you. Because now I know you love me back Mikeyway. I know in my heart that you do, but I've fucked up. And I don't know what else to say now, except that I'm sorry I let you go," Pete explains. His voice cracks each time he addresses Mikey, and the taller man feels his heart break each time. 

Mikey is still clutching the ring box in his hand, gripping it hard to the point of white knuckles. He looks to Pete, "Can I?" he motions opening it. Pete looks at the ground but nods. 

The taller man opens the box slowly. The band is black and unpolished. Not too thick and he notices there's an engraving on the inside, it's Pete's initials. 

"It's carved from a meteorite. It reminded me of when we met and watched the stars. You talked to me about space, and that was the moment I realized how important you would be to me," Pete whispers quietly. Mikey looks up at him. The shorter man is standing so awkwardly, and out of place in the room, like this is all too much for him. His black hair falling over his eyes. 

"You loved me then?" Mikey asks, his voice somehow able to stay strong, rather than quiver like his heart.

"Yes Mikeyway I did. Love at first sight. The oldest cliche in the universe, but dammit Mikeyway, there was something about you. I needed someone like you to pull me out of the shit I was in. Even though you were in the same shit hole state of mind like me, your existence, and simply being around me, helped me more than you will ever know. So yes, I was in love with you the moment I met you, I just hadn't known it then. I know it now, but it does me no good, because look where we are".

Mikey closes the ring box and gently sets it on the top of the dresser. "C'mere," he whispers. His heart hammers against his rib cage, but he lets himself feel it. He doesn't try to hold back his emotions, especially since Pete just basically poured his heart out. 

The shorter man drifts over without looking up at Mikey. His arms encircle around Mikey just below his shoulder blades. Mikey squeezes Pete as hard as he can, holding back only because he doesn't want to crush him. His face buries itself in Pete's black hair, just between his shoulder and head. His hands twist into Pete's shirt, bunching up the fabric, the warmth of him radiating through to Mikey's hands. 

"I love you Mikeyway," Pete voices into Mikey's chest, "Please, just know that I love you. I won't ever not be in love with you".

Instead of answering Mikey steps back from the hug, his hands still gripping Pete, but now one is on his shoulder, the other on his hip. He hesitates for just a moment, glancing into Pete's eyes before he leans down to press a his lips to Pete's. The hand on his shoulder travels up to grip the back of Pete's neck while their lips move together. His other hand finds its way under Pete's shirt, pressed against his back, pulling the shorter man flush against him. Pete opens his mouth to him, and Mikey greedily accepts this, their tongues clashing. 

Pete's hands, which seemed frozen until this point, grip the sides of Mikey's face, pulling their faces closer even though they can't really get any closer. But after what seems like only a few seconds, Mikey pulls back. 

"Why were you going to let me leave?" Mikey asks quietly. His eyes searching Pete's face for something. 

"I didn't want you to be unhappy and stuck with me. I listened to that stupid, 'If you love someone, you let them go' quote," Pete replies, his cheeks tinging with pink, as if he's embarrassed. 

"That's such a bullshit quote to go by Pete. Especially for you," Mikey says with a slight smile. But he never smiles unless he genuinely means to. He brushes some stray hairs out of Pete's eyes.

Pete grins, not a very wide grin, but a different one. One Mikey hasn't seen before, but he decides he wants to see it again. "Yes, well, I won't be making that mistake again, will I?". 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's really short. I just don't like sad stuff so I didn't wanna keep writing sad. Instead I just got to the makeup part quick haha.


End file.
